Since school has started, I’m more occupied than usual. They were a couple of things that brought me down a couple a days ago. For instance, I found out that I can’t apply to any colleges this fall because I have to finish my “math series” at Chabot. Which is fine, but I really wanted t apply already. Few days ago, I was really sad, because I feel a like a failure. I aim big and it’s somehow always crushed. Like this summer, I wanted to enlist to the Air Force, but turns out, I can’t because I wasn’t a citizen nor a green card holder. Now that I chose to focus on school, this happens. Plus, my family not really supporting school isn’t helping either. There’s only one that I can cling on, which is God. I get so discourage so many times, but I believe that he has plans and has a purpose for me. Whatever it may be, I’m pretty stoked for it.
I’m not going to lie, but for a while I blamed myself for not knowing what I really wanted to pursue. I finished my GE first because I wanted to explore and see what I wanted. Turns out, I really wanted to do what I started with — Business. At first, I was upset, because I know I would have gotten out right away if I knew Business was going to be the one. Though, I don’t regret taking some classes, because I was able to obtain so much information that I know that I can use sometime in the future and I also met some amazing people.
Problems are never bad as they seem. For me, I try to look at every situation in that way. Besides, I always believe that God won’t give us any problem that we can’t handle. That being said, I’m not going to sit here and weep because I have to stay to take Math classes at Chabot. Instead, I will try my best to do really well, boost my GPA, get active, network with other people, expand my connection, etc.
Next fall, if its God’s will, I will apply to schools and hopefully will be able to transfer.
I know I always aim big and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I know I also have to be realistic.